


Trapped, but in high school

by piningbisexuals



Series: Trapped, but in high school [1]
Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-08 14:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18896194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piningbisexuals/pseuds/piningbisexuals
Summary: While other students are thinking about their future in university, Tang Yi has already his future all laid out in front of him. Although he plans on having a peaceful last year of high school, it seems like his classmate, Meng Shao Fei, has decided otherwise.Or a high school AU where Tang Yi is a gang leader and Shao Fei likes to meddle in things that don’t concern him





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer1: I haven’t written anything in a year, English is not my first language and I have never written anything in English. You’ve been warned.
> 
> Disclaimer2: I know nothing about the Taiwanese educational system or anything Taiwanese to be honest. So be lenient if I get things wrong because I will.
> 
> Oh and also this fic is available on my tumblr @ piningbisexuals :)

Tang Yi had been aware of his future from the moment he had gotten a grasp of the concept itself, which had been earlier than most kids. Being born into a gang was… an experience. While he was in the dark about it most of his childhood, he had his doubts. When he turned 13, his father had decided to explain it to him, in his usual vague manner. The one thing he had made clear was that Tang Yi would not be part of his gang before he turned 18.

His father was a lot of things: cold, expressionless, taciturn and pretty cruel. Leading about a hundred men had made him become this way, or so Tang Yi’s mom said. Sadly, Tang Yi would never know the man before the gang leader, the one that had made his mom fall so deeply for him. 

The thing is, Tang Yi loved his father. More than that, he admired him. His father had come from nothing, and with a few friends, had created a small empire. He owned three small supermarkets, all used to launder money. These businesses were mostly unsuccessful, all located in the shitty part of town, but they were pretty useful for cleaning up drug money.

When Tang Yi had a talk with his father on his 13th birthday, he told him that every gang needed drugs to survive. Tang Yi had always wondered how you could decide one day to get into making drugs and selling them. He then realized that when someone was lowly qualified, he either slaved his whole life away to barely make enough to sustain himself, or he chose to risk his life to offer himself and his family comfort. 

It was crazy, wasn’t it? Putting yourself in an illegal situation for comfort. It was pretty paradoxical, but Tang Yi’s father seemed to have escaped prison so far, so it might have been a good trade-off. 

Tang Yi had been an exemplary child most of his life, but, like all teenagers, had been partial to a little bit of rebellion. 

The peak of it had been starting is own gang at 15, during the beginning of high school. It hadn’t been a very logical decision, disobeying his father and all. It had all started with him hanging out with kids from very poor areas of the city, who all had part time jobs to support their families. 

Now, because Tang Yi had a nice amount of pocket money, he started buying cigarettes in bulk for pretty cheap, sometimes for himself, but mostly to resell them. In a few months he had acquired such a reputation in school that everyone came to him to buy cigarettes and he quickly became short of hands. That’s when his friends stepped up and quit their part jobs to become a real gang. They made more money and didn’t have to work on top of school, it was the perfect deal for them really.

They weren’t really friends, to be honest, Tang Yi was too closed off to create real relationships with people. But he would gladly admit that they were perfect gang members. The money was so good they never felt the need to rebel and wouldn’t hesitate to beat up a kid that looked at them wrong. Tang Yi felt satisfied with the situation. 

Now, that decision hadn’t come without any beating from his father. He still remembers the black eye he sported for weeks after their confrontation. Luckily for him, his father had realized that he made quite a bit of money from this, and decided to extend the business to drugs. 2 years later, he made thousands of Taiwanese dollars a month. He knew he would still be a glorified drug dealer during university, which he’d have the luck to attend, his father still wanting him to get the education he never had the chance to get. 

To be honest, Tang Yi thought he lead a good life.

 

It was the beginning of his last year of high school, and he was just chilling on a bench with two other gang members. The others were probably getting lousy blowjobs from their girlfriends in the bathrooms or selling their products. The amount of underage students addicted to meth or cocaine still managed to surprise Tang Yi from time to time. 

Sure, he was partial to smoking a little pot when he felt like it, but he couldn’t believe the number of rich boys and girls who’d sell their kidney to get hard drugs. It made him smile, imagining their parents finding out about it and disowning them. They had everything, yet still felt the need to fuck up their life so early on.

From the corner of his eyes, he could feel her gaze. She came up to him almost every day to get weed. He didn’t even know her name. She knew very well she could talk to other guys from the gang, yet she insisted on coming up to him specifically every time. He found it hot. She was hot. 

He finally stood up, going up to her for the first time. She seemed taken aback but quickly tried to cover it. She was a very basic girl, not a particularly good student, not a bad one either, she only had a few friends. She was pretty, though.

She followed him to the bathroom, where they ended up in a tiny stall. Their bodies were touching, the walls pushing them against each other, not that Tang Yi minded. She handed him the money and he took a tiny package out of his pocket. Usually, he would get out of here fairly quickly, but this time he lingered a few seconds. He wanted to kiss her so bad. 

It felt like she could read his mind because she said, “Stay and smoke with me.”

It was pretty dumb to accept. They had great chances of getting caught, and, if they were, Tang Yi would be on every teacher’s radars, which was not good for business. It was the lunch break though, and there were still 20 minutes left. No teachers ever came to the boys bathrooms, especially those in that hidden part of school. The chances of getting caught were actually pretty low, and Tang Yi wanted to kiss her so bad.

They had opened the only window in there, smoking in the stall closest to it, pressed against one another, giving each other stolen glances and shy smiles. The high started hitting only after a few hits, but maybe it was because he was with her. 

Somehow, she dared to kiss him first, and Tang Yi was high on another level. They kissed for a while but after 15 minutes in that tiny stall, Tang Yi remembered that he had class on the other side of school and needed to go.

“I need to go. The bell’s gonna ring.”

She nodded and they got out of the stall. He gave her a bashful smile and started heading outside but she grabbed his wrist and spun him backwards. Her lips were on him again, and after the shortest make out session ever, she asked him to sell her another gram of weed. 

The exchange done for the second time of the day, he went to kiss her on the lips but he could feel her cold against him.

He turned to see where her look of horror was directed, and, shit. Someone had seen them. 

Not even anyone either. Meng Shao Fei, the most lawful student of the whole school. Great.


	2. Chapter 2

In his defence, Meng Shao Fei looked as terrified as the girl Tang Yi just made out with. It wasn’t really surprising either, Tang Yi’s gang had gained quite the reputation over the years. 

The problem was that, as scared as Meng Shao Fei must have felt in that moment, it would probably not keep him from spilling their secret as soon as he’d see a teacher. Hell, he’d probably go to the Principal, which definitely couldn’t happen.

Tang Yi’s walk was confident, ignoring the way his heart had started beating up rapidly. His dad definitely couldn’t know that a dumb kid in his school knew. Tang Yi would get hit for sure.

“Class is gonna start in 2 minutes. The teacher’s pet doesn’t want to miss the start of it,” he said.

“What they said is true.”

Oh, now the rumors about his gang involved their selling of drugs? Amazing.

“I don’t know what you mean. We started making out today.”

He looked frustrated all of sudden. “I’m not talking about the – you making out!” He exclaimed. “I’m talking about the drugs!” He had half yelled, half whispered it. Thankfully, everyone was already in class at that time.

Tang Yi pushed him against the nearest wall, one hand on his chest. That kid still hadn’t hit the end of puberty yet, being still pretty skinny, his head looking almost too big for his body. Tang Yi could break him in two if he wanted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And if you wanna live to go to university, you better not know either.”

A blush spread across Meng Shao Fei’s cheeks. He probably had also heard the rumors about Tang Yi and his gang beating up a 10th grader to death, and, while it wasn’t true (the kid had moved out due to their bullying, though), Tang Yi had taken that story and ran with it for months in order to gain more respect from their schoolmates.

“I swear to god that I will destroy you if I learn that you talked about this to one person. Student, teacher, parent, I don’t give a fuck. You talk, you’re dead. Are we clear?”

The kid couldn’t nod faster. He released him, still feeling uneasy about someone knowing. Sure, people knew, but they didn’t really know. Now someone had the power to ruin him and his gang. Being the teachers’ pet, they would believe him for sure.

 

He arrived to class 5 minutes late, while Meng Shao Fei came almost 15 minutes after the start of it. He didn’t dare to look at Tang Yi, and was still visibly shaken, which made the teacher go even easier on him.

Tang Yi doesn’t really remember anything from that class. He was too busy thinking about Meng Shao Fei. The boy had been in his class every year since the beginning of high school, but they had obviously never interacted. 

That dude was actually pretty popular. While being the teacher’s pet and pretty nerdy, he also had a lot of charisma, which made him the center of a big group of friends. He had only a handful of close friends, though, his best friend being Zhao Zi, a really small and thin guy, even shorter that Meng Shao Fei. 

If Meng Shao Fei hadn’t finished puberty, Zhao Zi looked like he barely hit it at all. There was also a girl and two other guys with whom Meng Shao Fei was very close, but Tang Yi hadn’t cared enough to remember their names.

The boy had a lot of acquaintances in their class and in the school in general. People seemed to generally like him a lot. The only ones who had never interacted with him were Tang Yi and his gang, who were too busy terrorizing the school to talk with the popular guy.

Meng Shao Fei wasn’t bad looking either, which meant quite a few girls (and guys) had tried to get with him, but he never appeared to date anyone so he must have rejected them all. Maybe he was in love with the girl whom he hung out with all the time. 

In all honesty, Tang Yi was scared shitless. He didn’t trust this guy at all, and there was nothing he could do. He was in a very vulnerable position, not being able to fix it, and having only one option: wait for high school to end and never see Meng Shao Fei again. 

But, the thing was… there were still 8 months until the end of school, which was plenty of time for Meng Shao Fei to betray him. Hell, maybe this asshole would wait until the last day of school so he could disappear forever and Tang Yi could never get his revenge on him.

Tang Yi spent the whole 2 hours of class thinking about every possible way Meng Shao Fei could denounce him before the end of high school, and surprisingly there was a lot.

He was awoken from his daydreaming by the bell. Meng Shao Fei almost ran out of class, probably feeling Tang Yi gaze on him. He felt Jack’s hand on his shoulder.

“What’s going on? You’re pretty out of it today.”

While Tang Yi wouldn’t consider himself friends with any member of his gang, Jack was still the closest thing he had to one. He had a similar personality to him, cold and inexpressive, serious and great at his gig. They didn’t really talk about private things, but they got along quite well. Hell, actually, Jack might as well be Tang Yi’s best friend.

“Meng Shao Fei saw me in the bathroom with that girl during the lunch break,” he replied.

Jack was taken aback, but recovered quickly. “It’s okay, isn’t it? He won’t say anything.”

“I threatened him but I’m not so sure. I don’t trust him.”

“Tang Yi, you don’t trust anyone.”

That made him crack a small smile.

“You’re right.”

They went out for the rest of their 15 minutes break, and Tang Yi already felt lighter. Jack was right, Meng Shao Fei wasn’t a threat. He was a dumb kid who didn’t know anything. 

The rest of the day, Tang Yi thought about that girl’s lips against his instead. He wanted to kiss her again, sooner rather than later. Maybe he’d finally learn her name. 

The last two hours of school went by fast, and he left the school having forgotten all about Meng Shao Fei and his discovery.

Unfortunately, that dumb ass reminded himself to him as soon as he crossed the street.

“Tang Yi! Wait for me!”

He looked at that kid with an incredulous look. “I thought I had made myself clear.”

“Yeah, yeah, you were, uh, crystal clear!” Meng Shao Fei exclaimed. “But the thing is… I thought you could invite me to a snack, since you must be pretty loaded with all that drug money.”

The last words were whispered directly in his ears, and Tang Yi contemplated killing this daring guy right then and there. 

Blackmail, really? He could have easily said no and went on with his life, but somehow, he didn’t want to. 

Something was ringing in his ears, along the lines of “challenge”. And oh, how fun it could be to mess with that annoying classmate of his.


	3. Chapter 3

They always went home together, Zhao Zi and him. Somehow, even though they lived in the same street their whole life, they only started doing it that year. Jack thought it was a lot of wasted time, between them.

They always greeted Zhao Zi’s grandma first, who was the loveliest woman, before going back to Jack’s place. They were both pretty poor, especially Jack, whose parents were never home because they worked at a small restaurant they owned all day and most of the night. 

Jack didn’t know how they did it, but ever since Zhao Zi was in his life he liked the idea of having the house to themselves. It was almost like they lived together already.

Being the son of two cooks had made Jack’s cooking skills pretty solid, and Zhao Zi was there to appreciate them. 

It had become a little routine between them: go to Zhao Zi’s home, greet Grandma, go to Jack’s home, cook while Zhao Zi is watching him, eat together, watch tv, kiss, have sex, say goodnight, go their separate ways and go to school together the next day. 

In a way, they were already like an old married couple, which was something Jack had been afraid of. Ever since he was a kid, he would look at his parents’ married life like the most boring and monotonous life there was, and didn’t want it for himself. 

But with Zhao Zi, the routine didn’t get boring or monotonous. It was fun.

He felt his boyfriend’s hands on his hips while cooking some eggs.

“What are you cooking tonight?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Hmmm, I don’t like surprises.”

“You love surprises.”

Zhao Zi kissed his cheek, laughing a little. “I do.”

The movie they watched that evening was pretty boring, which left them a lot of time to focus on each other. It was there, naked on his sofa, that Jack made a decision. 

They had talked a lot about telling their families and friends about each other. The problem was that Jack’s parents were very traditional, and he had quite a bit of chance of getting rejected by them, which he obviously didn’t want. 

But he also felt bad about counting the hours before his parents came home so Zhao Zi and him didn’t get caught. Zhao Zi always told him that he was certain his grandma had guessed it, seeing them together all the time. Jack wasn’t so sure about that.

About telling friends, it was another thing. Jack knew Shao Fei, Zhao Zi’s best friend, wouldn’t be too shocked about it, because he looked pretty gay so he’d be able to relate. As for Tang Yi… it would be weird. For starters, they weren’t really friends. 

He wasn’t sure he knew anything about Tang Yi, though he had questions, the biggest one being: How did he get the drugs they sold in school? He had a few ideas, sure, but he had always wanted a clear cut answer so he could feel satisfied. 

Tang Yi obviously didn’t know anything about him either, despite them having the habit of drinking together every Sunday night, when Zhao Zi couldn’t be with him because Sundays were “Grandma’s day”. 

Maybe he should tell it to Tang Yi. I mean, it was risky because Tang Yi didn’t seem like an LGBT ally, but… maybe he would be comprehensive.

“I want to tell Fei about us.” Zhao Zi interrupted his train of thoughts, and Jack switched to wondering if his boyfriend could read his mind.

“I want to tell Tang Yi about us too. But… I’m scared he’s gonna beat me and you up.”

“Yeah, I’m scared of that too. He looks kinda homophobic.”

“So, should I tell him?”

“If you feel like it, yes.”

“Even if he beats us up?”

“I mean, I think you can win a fight against him.”

Jack smiled, and buried his face Zhao Zi’s chest. “Then I’ll tell him on Sunday.”

 

They ended up going to a trendy cafe near their school where only schoolgirls went, which was in Tang Yi’s best interest because he definitely couldn’t be seen being buddy-buddy with Meng Shao Fei. His classmate had ordered a big glass of coke and a slice of cheesecake, which frankly looked like a disgusting combo. 

Tang Yi had ordered iced green tea and was sipping it slowly, hoping for Meng Shao Fei to gobble it all down soon so that encounter could be over.

“You’re not eating anything?” When Tang Yi didn’t respond, he added: “I mean, I’m not really surprised. I don’t see the big bad guy at our school eating sweets.”

That made Tang Yi crack a smile. In reality, he liked sweet food a lot; he just didn’t have a habit of eating it often.

“Do you want a bite of my cheesecake? Try it with coke, it’s like an explosion in your mouth!”

The piece of cheesecake was already being brought up to his mouth without his consent so he pushed it aside as gently as he could. “No thank you.”

“Oh come on, you’ll be hungry if you have to wait hours before eating something.”

Relentless, Meng Shao Fei put his piece of cheesecake up to Tang Yi’s mouth again. Frankly, the thought of eating from the same fork as him disgusted Tang Yi a little, but he was already exhausted by this kid so he opened his mouth and accepted the bite.

“Come on, drink some cola.” His classmate pushed his glass on his side of the table.

Tang Yi could have just sipped from the same straw as him, I mean he had already some of the kids germs inside his mouth, but decided against. He would not give that creep the satisfaction.

Cheesecake and Cola were an explosion indeed. It was revolting, but also kind of fun tasting.

“You don’t like it?” Meng Shao Fei must have guessed from his face that it wasn’t up to Tang Yi’s standards.

“I obviously don’t.”

“Oh. Okay.”

A few minutes were spent in silence, Meng Shao Fei finally finishing his cheesecake. Tang Yi thought he was almost out of there, but no, the kid spoke again.

“Listen, I need a favor.”

Oh hell no.

“There’s this girl, um, she’s two grades younger than us. She likes me a lot, and, um, I don’t really like her that way. But she still hasn’t been able to read the hints I’ve given her. She spends all her recess breaks searching for me, but I hide in the bathroom or stay inside the classroom with my friends most of the time, except for lunch. She always spots me in the cafeteria.”

“Okay?”

“And this girl, uh, she’s scared of you. Like, terrified.”

Ah, here it was. The favor in question.

“So I was wondering if you would mind having lunch with me and my friends for a little while, just enough to scare her off.”

 

The next day, that annoying kid showed up with his closest friends to their table, and Meng Shao Fei made a point to sit next to Tang Yi, just to play with his nerves. To say it was torture would be an exaggeration, but it was still an annoying feeling that wouldn’t stop pinching Tang Yi’s chest. He wanted to punch that boy so bad. 

His gang members would talk with each other while he ate in silence, Meng Shao Fei speaking loudly with his friends while stealing glances in his direction, as if Tang Yi couldn’t feel it. 

Tang Yi also noticed the stolen glances between Jack and Zhao Zi, which was definitely weird. They never interacted before, and now they kept looking at each other in a ridiculously soft way.

The girl arrived a few minutes after the start of the meal. “Meng Shao Fei! There’s no place at your table! Where can I sit?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m eating with my friends.”

She was about to reply something, when she spotted Tang Yi, who was looking right in her eyes. She might as well have become a ghost right then and there, turning white and taking a step backward. 

“O-okay, um… we’ll eat together tomorrow!”

Watching her almost run out of there was incredibly hilarious, and the whole table exploded into laughter. Even Tang Yi cracked a smile.

“What did I tell you!” exclaimed Meng Shao Fei. “She ran out so fast I thought she would fall.”

“That’s a pretty cruel thing to say,” noted Tang Yi. “I thought you were a righteous guy.”

Meng Shao Fei blushed furiously. “I am! I promise I’m not a mean guy! It’s just that… she’s been chasing me for months and it’s the first time she might’ve taken the hint.”

Tang Yi nodded, and finished his meal. 

After that, his gang and him started business again and the girl from yesterday came up to him again. She hadn’t been on Tang Yi’s mind as much as he would’ve liked but she was still pretty. He wanted to kiss her again.

Touching each other and making out in a small bathroom stall which smelled… questionable wasn’t the hottest thing Tang Yi had ever done, but it was hot enough. Her kisses weren’t as satisfying as the day before, but it was still great. 

He wanted to have sex with her so bad, but lunch with Meng Shao Fei had taken longer than usual and the bell would ring in ten minutes. Some mild rubbing and grabbing would have to suffice.

When he got out the boys’ bathroom, he saw Meng Shao Fei walking away rapidly. His first instinct was to run after him and see if he saw anything, but he already knew. If that pervert wanted to hear him make out with a girl, it was his choice. He only had to pray that Tang Yi wouldn’t catch him, though.

 

Tang Yi would be lying if he said he didn’t at least enjoy their lunch breaks a little more. Meng Shao Fei and his group added much needed life to their lunch, and a few guys in the gang had started talking to some of them. 

Tang Yi still kept his distance though, because someone needed to. Underneath, the guys in the gang were normal guys. Tang Yi was on another level. I mean, knowing your father has killed people is pretty out there…

It wasn’t like Meng Shao Fei didn’t try to include him in the group, talking to him fairly often, staring at him, sometimes pushing his shoulder against his… in all honestly, he was becoming too much for Tang Yi. Treating him like they were friends.

Friday arrived soon enough, and Tang Yi felt content with the idea of being alone for two whole days. Not seeing, hearing or thinking about anyone but himself. It felt like heaven. 

His father was home, surprisingly. He was smoking a cigar at his desk. Tang Yi gave him his part of the money he collected that day. He looked satisfied. When Tang Yi arrived in his room, he felt the unusual urge to smoke a joint. He had already smoked quite a lot that week, but he needed to escape for a little while.

He positioned himself in front of his window and started rolling it. Then, before he could start smoking, the doorbell rang. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, a few of his dad’s associates sometimes would come to visit him, but his dad called him out pretty quickly.

“Tang Yi! A classmate is here!”

Tang Yi knew who it was before even coming downstairs. Meng Shao Fei had followed him home.


	4. Chapter 4

Of the many times in the past week that Tang Yi had wanted to punch Meng Shao Fei in the face, this one ranked the highest. He was sitting in their small garden on a bench, waiting for Tang Yi to come meet him. It was the first time anyone had come to his house to see him.

“Does he sell for you?” asked his father. 

“No. He’s a new friend,” he replied. Friend. That word wanted to make him vomit.

“Don’t fuck it up.”

“I won’t.”

Meng Shao Fei stood up as soon as he saw him. “Tang Yi,” he whispered.

“Now you’re stalking me? Are you in love with me or something?”

The boy started blushing like crazy and shook his head negatively. “It’s just… I kind feel like we’ve become friends this week. Or at least, half-friends.”

Tang Yi rolled his eyes. “Meng Shao Fei, you’re blackmailing me.”

“See!” exclaimed the boy, ignoring his sentence. “You said my name for the first time! It means we’re at least half-friends!”

His logic was pretty flawed, but Tang Yi agreed. “Half-friends.”

 

They went up to his room, where the rolled up joint and lighter were still awaiting Tang Yi. So much for a calm evening smoking in solo. Meng Shao Fei noticed it from the moment he stepped a foot in the room.

“So… you smoke regularly?”

“Not really. Only when I want to.”

“So you don’t sell? I got everything wrong, didn’t I? You weren’t selling weed to her.” Meng Shao Fei wondered out loud, sitting on Tang Yi’s bed.

“I don’t sell drugs,” he lied.

“Why did you sell to her, then?”

“I wanna fuck her.”

The vulgarity of his words surprised Tang Yi too. He just wanted to shock his classmate, and it worked. The boy looked incredibly uncomfortable. It was fun.

Tang Yi decided to push it: “You never fucked anyone, uh?”

Meng Shao Fei, now bright red, shook his head.

“Not even that girl who’s been chasing you during lunch time? She’s pretty enough.”

“I’m not into doing… that… with people I don’t love.”

Of course he wasn’t. Tang Yi lit up his joint and took a puff. He suddenly had the urge to see what a high Meng Shao Fei would look like. “You want a puff?” he asked.

His classmate looked like deer caught in headlight, but eventually nodded.

“You need to really inhale it, though.” He recommended. “You need to feel it in your lungs or else it won’t do anything.”

The boy looked terrified, but still put the joint up to his lips and took a puff. Now he had Tang Yi’s germs in him, like he had done to him days before in the cafe. That sight made Tang Yi smile. Of course, the boy chocked on the smoke a second later, which was pretty hilarious.

“Take another.” he commanded, and Meng Shao Fei did.

This time, he didn’t choke but still looked pretty uncomfortable. Tang Yi took the joint from him and took another couple puffs, before giving it back to him.

After long minutes of smoking in silence, Tang Yi was starting to feel the high and Meng Shao Fei already looked pretty out of it. They were now both sitting on his bed, maybe a little too close for Tang Yi’s comfort, but he tried to ignore it.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” murmured the boy, knocking their arms against each other. “Give me another puff.”

Turns out, they finished the joint pretty quickly after that. Meng Shao Fei lied on Tang Yi’s bed for a little while, and, after a few minutes, Tang Yi joined him.

“I’m probably not doing this again, though.” Meng Shao Fei finally said, after long minutes of silence.

“I’m not surprised.”

“Do you only date people who smoke weed?”

Tang Yi had to laugh at that question. It was pretty stupid. “No.”

His eyes fixed to his room’s ceiling didn’t keep him from feeling Meng Shao Fei gaze on him. He felt it for a while, before deciding to look back. Turns out, their faces were closer than he thought. 

The boy was looking at him with something he was familiar with, coming from girls in their school. It was the first time a boy did it, though. Tang Yi didn’t know how to feel.

Suddenly, it happened. The next step to that look. Meng Shao Fei was kissing him. His lips were soft against his, a little shy too. Quite inexperienced.

For a few seconds, Tang Yi forgot how to move. It was when Shao Fei stopped kissing him to look in his eyes that he regained his ability to think. He was out of his bed pretty quickly, trying to stifle the rage that was boiling inside of him.

Behind him, Shao Fei was stumbling to stand, red in the cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“You need to go.”

“Okay,” he whispered, his eyes still looking at him for a reaction.

Tang Yi finally turned to face him. “Never do something like that again.”

Shao Fei nodded, a devastated look forming in his eyes, and got out of the room.

This was too much. Of all the things Tang Yi had expected to happen on his Friday evening, Shao Fei kissing him was nowhere on his list. 

He just couldn’t believe the audacity of this random boy to come to his home and kiss him like Tang Yi was into him. 

Something in his stomach wasn’t right. Tang Yi couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his lips against the back of his hand again and again, as if it would erase the kiss.

 

All weekend, Tang Yi realized that there was no way to forget this kiss. It was haunting him. All day and all night, he saw Shao Fei leaning in and felt his lips against his. 

It was probably the worst weekend of his life, and he didn’t know whether to be happy or annoyed that he had to go to Jack’s house on Sunday night to get drinks. Maybe seeing someone would make him feel better, but maybe it would make him feel worse.

Jack seemed pretty nervous that night, which didn’t help Tang Yi relax. After a good drink, though, his head feeling light and his cheeks burning up a little, Tang Yi realized drinking was definitely the solution to his problems. 

They usually didn’t talk about anything, Jack and him, just being in each other’s company while getting drunk was enough. Tang Yi had made up his mind. Jack was his best friend

“So… it was quite a week, uh.” said Jack.

It was quite a week indeed. Sometimes Tang Yi wondered if Jack could read his mind. “Hm.”

“I never thought we’d get blackmailed into eating with Meng Shao Fei and Zhao Zi.”

Tang Yi was suddenly reminded of all the times he caught Jack and Zhao Zi staring at each other in the past week, and wanted to ask so bad, but didn’t dare to do so.

“Speaking of Zhao Zi… I need to tell you something.” Jack hesitated. He really could read his mind.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” laughed Tang Yi, trying to lighten up the mood.

“So… we’re dating.”

Tang Yi stayed silent or a while. To be honest, he didn’t know how to react. Sure, he had seen their looks, but he thought he had maybe misread the situation. He didn’t feel disgust like he thought he would feel, not even disappointment. 

Actually, he might even have felt relief. His best friend was sharing a part of himself with him.

“Since when?”

“This summer. You don’t know, but we’ve always lived in the same street. My parents are pretty friendly with his grandma and vice versa. This summer, my parents had to travel to Hualien to my aunt’s second wedding, and I really didn’t want to go so Zhao Zi’s grandma proposed to lodge me for a weekend, until they’d come back. After that, Zhao Zi and I were pretty inseparable.”

“So… You’re gay?” Saying this word was hard for Tang Yi, especially since he wasn’t the most open-minded guy out there.

Jack shook his head. “Bisexual, actually. You know I dated women before. But I definitely like guys too.” Tang Yi felt a little weird at that confession.

“Are you attracted to me?”

“Why do all straight people say that?” Jack laughed. “You don’t like every girl you see. Well, I’m the same with girls and boys. So no, I don’t like you, I love Zhao Zi.”

“Hm,” he conceded. They continued drinking in silence for a while.

“Are you grossed out?” Jack finally asked.

“I thought I would,” confessed Tang Yi. “But, actually… I’m not. It’s definitely weird, because I’d never have pictured you with a guy, but I’ll get used to it.”

Jack looked pretty satisfied by this answer.


	5. Chapter 5

On Monday, Tang Yi made a point to search the girl during recess, so he could ask her to eat together outside the cafeteria during the lunch break. She accepted, her friends cooing a few seconds after he left, embarrassing the hell out of her.

During class, that morning, Shao Fei would often turn around to look at him, which Tang Yi never did back. He didn’t understand how this boy wasn’t feeling shameful, staring at him like that, after Tang Yi had clearly shown he wasn’t interested. 

He did seem pretty timid, something out of the ordinary for him, but if he could stop making his presence known to Tang Yi, it’d be great.

“I’m not eating with you guys today,” he announced to his gang members at the end of class, “I’m eating with that girl.”

“You still don’t know her name?” mocked Jack.

“Maybe I’ll learn her name today,” Tang Yi replied with a proud smile.

His friends started laughing, hitting him playfully in the back, before all going to lunch. 

The girl was waiting for him in front of the boy’s bathroom they usually made out in, looking a little nervous. Good, she knew what was gonna happen.

Tang Yi had already had sex with 6 other girls before her, and he could say he had never felt the need to have sex as much as that day. He barely could remember what happened during that recess. They had eaten, then smoked a little, then fucked. 

Fucking her was all a blur. It was good enough, he remembered, but not as satisfying as he’d wanted it to be. It wasn’t her fault, really. He had wanted it so bad he had ruined it in advance. Too high expectations can only lead to disappointment.

Fucking her was still a victory in itself. He hadn’t done it in a few months, and he needed some release. Still, once he was done, he knew he wouldn’t do anything with her again. The charm was gone. He’d done it. There was nothing left between them.

Sadly, she didn’t seem to be on the same page, kissing him passionately before they had to go back to class.

 

The rest of the day was shit. Tang Yi felt bad, for some unknown reason. He couldn’t focus on class, couldn’t focus on anything, just on that one hour of lunch recess. Jack noticed it, of course, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything. 

He looked happier, ever since the day before when he revealed the truth to Tang Yi. He noticed the way Zhao Zi and him would look at each other from across the room. It was love, for sure.

One thing was on Tang Yi’s mind that day: going home. But he had still a few sales to do with the rest of the gang. They hung out in the courtyard for a while, then split the money like they did. 

Tang Yi was counting the money when a ball came flying into his head. 

A terrified 10th grader came running in his direction to apologize, but Tang Yi took him by the collar before he could say a word.

There were still quite a few students left on school grounds, playing football or chatting, taking the time to enjoy their youth. 

All of them were now looking in Tang Yi’s direction, who hadn’t beaten up anyone in a while. When they were younger, his gang and him bullied many students to establish dominance, but now that they were in the highest grade they didn’t have to do it as much.

“Tang Yi, what are you gonna do?” asked Jack.

Instead of answering, he just threw his fist into the kid’s face, hard. His nose began bleeding immediately.

“You need to learn to pay attention to your superior.” He said, looking in the scared kid’s eyes.

Once released, the kid couldn’t run away faster. Everyone who had gasped when he hit the kid was now pretending that nothing had happened, going back to their previous activities. 

Everyone but Shao Fei, who looked as disappointed as Tang Yi’s father when he learned his son had created a gang against his explicit will. Tang Yi hadn’t even noticed his presence, but couldn’t back out now.

He grabbed his bag and got out of there, looking at him in a daring manner while passing next to his group of friends. 

In hindsight, it had been a childish gesture, but an invigorating one at the time. Why should he care what dumb ass Shao Fei thought? If that perv judged him, it was actually a good thing. It meant he was the normal one.

 

The next day, Shao Fei sat next to him during lunch. Nobody really said anything, even Tang Yi who, frankly, didn’t have the strength to fight against Shao Fei. That boy had exhausted him into surrendering. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He ate in pure silence though, and Shao Fei didn’t talk to him at all.

One thing that had changed, though, was Jack and Zhao Zi sitting next to each other, talking to each other, feeding each other, and generally being in love. 

Tang Yi thought that seeing them together instead of just knowing they were an item would maybe finally make him feel the disgust he was expecting but nope, he didn’t hate them. Hell, they were actually kinda cute. (Though Tang Yi would never admit it out loud.)

The rest of the gang and Zhao Zi’s friends didn’t really seem to care, stealing curious glances in their direction, wondering if they were really all seeing the same thing, Jack the lady seducer with a boy, but yep, it was happening. 

The rest of the day couldn’t have been more bland. Class after class after class, and then it was finally time to go home. After a last few sales, they all went home. Of course, Shao Fei had waited for him. He wasn’t surprised anymore.

“Why did you hit that kid yesterday?”

“He hit me with his ball.”

Shao Fei started laughing uncontrollably, looking a little crazy. “Do you realize that’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said?”

If it was yesterday, Tang Yi would’ve beat his ass up. But a good night of sleep had brought him calmness and a semblance of wisdom. Truth to be told, he did feel a little bad about hitting that kid the day before. That had been, he could admit, pretty cruel and unnecessary. The last week or so had just been a lot, mostly because of Shao Fei.

“It was a bad day, it’s all,” he finally responded. He had never been this honest before, which was pretty telling. “Do you have anything you want to say?”

Shao Fei seemed to hesitate.

“I also wanted to apologize again. I really didn’t mean it. I was high, and -”

“Shao Fei.” he interrupted. “Shut up.”

The boy looked at him, flabbergasted, but didn’t say anything else. 

Tang Yi started walking again, and an idea sprouted in his mind. It was definitely the craziest, dumbest, most illogical thing he had ever though of, but in that moment he just couldn’t resist it.

So, when he realized Shao Fei wasn’t following him, he turned back. “You coming?”

His classmate couldn’t catch up to him fast enough.

 

His father wasn’t home. He usually would come home pretty late, with a big stack of money that he would count again and again while sipping some whiskey. Tang Yi would eat alone, as he did every night since his mom died four years ago. 

The empty house was kinda scary when you were alone there at night. It was definitely too big for only two guys. The wood would creak during the night, making it seem like Tang Yi was surrounded by ghosts. When he was younger, he liked to imagine they were the ghosts of the people his dad had killed or had had killed.

Now, with Shao Fei walking in with him, the house didn’t seem as scary as usual. The boy didn’t seem to think the same, looking around like he was expecting a serial killer to chase them. 

While they were going up the stairs, Tang Yi started questioning what he was doing. Sure, Shao Fei wasn’t a big threat, but bringing in his home again was dangerous. 

He didn’t really know what he was planning, he just felt like exploring his boundaries. Maybe he should try and find out why he seemed unable to escape that boy.

 

In his room, the lights were dull. A faint smell of weed was still in the air, from the many joints he had smoked in the past week. Shao Fei seemed as lost as he was. 

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the boy fully, but from the corner of his eyes he could see that he was trying really hard not to say anything.

After a few minutes of them standing in the middle of his room in perfect silence, Tang Yi dared to turn around. 

Shao Fei looked at him with soft, questioning eyes. The annoying part of him seemed entirely gone. 

In that dimmed light, he looked… beautiful.

Kissing Shao Fei had came out of nowhere. Really, it was more of his body’s decision than his mind. The boy seemed to melt in his embrace, immediately putting his hands on his hips and kissing him back with all he got. 

Tang Yi hadn’t expected to kiss a boy that day, or ever. He didn’t expect to like it either. He never expected to feel more clear-headed that he had ever felt, but he was. He couldn’t do anything else than kiss and kiss, and never stop. 

Somehow, he still managed to have enough strength to push him into his bed, hands caressing every body part they could find, their bodies rocking against each other until they had to break out for air.

Shao Fei looked shocked. In all honesty, Tang Yi was probably the most shocked of them all. 

But now wasn’t time for a sexuality crisis, he needed to kiss him again. 

And that’s what he did.


	6. Chapter 6

“We should stop.” 

It was said in a half moan, which did not make Tang Yi want to stop. He still did, though.

Here they were, as close as two people with their clothes on could be, mouths only a few millimeters apart, hands on different body parts, notably a crotch. 

Tang Yi knew Shao Fei wouldn’t want to have sex, of course he didn’t, that boy probably had never kissed anyone before him. 

“Are you sure?” It couldn’t hurt to ask.

Shao Fei nodded, and suddenly they weren’t touching anymore. Tang Yi let himself fall on the bed next to the boy he just made out with. 

He did feel a little guilt, but not enough to not come to his senses. Tang Yi was probably just like Jack. Maybe it’s why they got each other so well.

Shao Fei interrupted his train of thoughts by laying his head on his chest. “You felt bad, hitting this kid yesterday, didn’t you?”

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “You really do not want me to be a bad person, do you?”

Shao Fei stayed silent. “I mean, I would prefer it. But either way it’s too late.”

It hit Tang Yi that it was indeed too late, and now Shao Fei would forever be that boy he made out with, no matter what they did next. “I’m a shit person, to be honest.”

“I don’t really believe that.”

“Well, you’re deluded.”

“Maybe. Maybe you’re the one who’s deluded.” Shao Fei replied with a small smile.

They stayed silent for a while, Tang Yi looking at his ceiling for a while, trying to assess the situation. 

But with the boy who had triggered this whole ‘sexuality crisis’ thing still laying on his chest, it was pretty hard. 

After a while, he realized Shao Fei had fallen asleep. This boy could really fall asleep that easily. Crazy.

Tang Yi could barely see his face from that angle, just a bit of his nose and mostly his hair. 

He expected to feel disgusted, wanting to run away from the boy he had just wanted to have sex with, but he didn’t.

Maybe Tang Yi was more open-minded than he thought, because feeling Shao Fei’s body weight on his grounded him instead of scaring him away. 

He wouldn’t mind staying this way the whole night.

Shao Fei’s hair were soft against his fingers, and once he started caressing them, he found himself incapable of stopping. 

He must have done it for a pretty long time, because Shao Fei woke up after a while and looked at him with the definition of heart eyes.

“You’re totally a good person.” he mocked.

And they were kissing again. The more they kissed, the more Tang Yi liked kissing Shao Fei, and the less he wanted to stop. 

Though he had to when his dad came home. 

It was already dark outside and Tang Yi was tempted to ask Shao Fei to stay the night, but he stopped himself before he could look too needy. 

When Shao Fei wasn’t in his sight anymore, Tang Yi went straight to bed and didn’t sleep one minute that night.

The next day, Tang Yi was sure of three things: he was definitely bisexual, he kinda sorta liked Shao Fei and, also, he could definitely not date that boy.

 

Ever since Tang Yi had lost his virginity at 15 with a 16 year old girl from another school that he really, really liked and she had broken up with him a few weeks later because he was too inexperienced, he had realized he didn’t like dating that much.

Being with this girl, even though it lasted only a few months, had been exhausting. Always having to care about her feelings, always having to talk about his own, feeling gross and vulnerable… Tang Yi was definitely not good at it.

So, after a few months had healed his broken heart, he found it easy to not care as much anymore. 

Sure, he still found a lot of girls (and he later realized, guys) attractive, but he would stop the relationship right when he felt that his heart was getting too attached. 

The more he did it, the easier it became too. The last girl he fucked, he had already almost forgotten about, though maybe it was because he was already making out with Shao Fei the day after.

Yes, Tang Yi was a fuckboy. He liked it that way. 

But with Shao Fei, one afternoon spent making out was already too much for his heart to get attached. 

That boy seemed to have a curse surrounding him that made people fall easier and harder than with anyone else. 

But even so, if Tang Yi wanted to continue being a fuckboy, he had to cut things off with Shao Fei now, though he had his suspicions the other boy wouldn’t let it slide.

 

He was right. Shao Fei was waiting for him in front of his house the next day, with this awkward look of ‘I don’t know what we are but I definitely think we’re dating now’ splattered across his face. 

Tang Yi didn’t feel like talking that morning, especially after 0 minute of sleep. His brain was fried and he couldn’t even think anymore. 

They walked in silence to school, located about 20 minutes away from Tang Yi’s home.

He could feel Shao Fei’s gaze on him as he walked, and somehow, after a few minutes, he started looking at him too. 

The other boy looked quite delighted to see him look in his direction. Tang Yi thought it made him look weak, to have this crushing groupie look whenever Tang Yi looked at him. He also thought it made him look cute, though.

Maybe he should say something, break it off for good, and then move on.

 

Before he could bring himself to say anything though, they were already in school, and he had to distribute the merchandise for the day to his friends, while Shao Fei was swept up by his own group, all so happy to see each other that day.

It must have been nice, having people who care so much about you that you never feel like you run out of love. Tang Yi had been running out of love for a long time, actually. He was used to it now.

At lunch, things had changed. Before he had kissed Shao Fei, he had seen him as an annoying presence, tuning out his eating, talking and laughing and focusing on his meal instead. 

Now, he just couldn’t seem to stop listening to his words, spread out over the many sentences he wouldn’t stop saying. 

Shao Fei had always been talkative, annoyingly so, but now that Tang Yi kinda sorta liked him he also was obsessed with that irritating voice, with that whole entire infuriating boy actually.

Suddenly, the girl he had sex with in a shitty bathroom 2 days ago was there, right in front of him. She was asking him to come find her when he was done eating lunch, which was simply not gonna happen. Tang Yi pretended he would do so, and sighed quietly once she was gone.

Next to him, Shao Fei was fuming. Everyone could probably tell he was jealous, over Tang Yi at that, which was just fucking amazing. 

As if Tang Yi needed people looking further into him and Shao Fei weird relationship that had been building up for only 8 days. 

That was actually pretty funny to Tang Yi, who thought he had reached his peak fuckboy behavior. With the last girl – the one who just left – it had taken them 2 weeks to start making out passionately.

Tang Yi’s plan for the rest of recess was walking out of the cafeteria as quickly as he could to avoid both the girl and Shao Fei, who he didn’t trust not to try and kiss him again, and just wait for the next period in the classroom like a nerd.

Unsurprisingly, Shao Fei followed his footsteps. He still looked angry, and honestly Tang Yi didn’t want to deal with him.

“Are you dating that girl?”

“Yeah, totally, that’s why I didn’t do what she asked. I’m such a nice boyfriend,” he replied sardonically.

“So you don’t like her.” He was sitting next to him now, way too close for Tang Yi to be able to think properly.

“I don’t like anyone.”

Maybe that would do it. Drive Shao Fei away, make him understand that they were impossible.

“You’re such a fucking liar.”

That surprised him a little bit, Shao Fei swearing. The teacher’s pet using such a vulgar word.

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

“You know, I was expecting this ‘nothing happened’ response from you, but, in the back of my head, I was imagining you not being such a fucking pussy.”

“Ooh, the lawful student is rebelling,” he mocked, feeling his ears turn red.

“I wish you could own up to your feelings instead of hiding behind your gang leader persona all day and all night long. Doesn’t it get boring?”

It did. It was exhausting. But showing feelings looked somewhat worse compared to eternal coldness.

“Well, why are you in love with such a loser, then?” Tang Yi had to admit, that sounded pretty needy in his own ears too.

“I’m not even in love with you yet, asshole!” Shao Fei exclaimed, turning red. “Maybe I’ll never be if you keep acting that way.”

“You know, it’s good that you’re there, I wanted to talk to you,” he suddenly said. “That 10th grader who liked you so much hasn’t come up to you at lunch this week. I think she got the hint. You can go back to your old table now.”

Shao Fei huffed loudly. “You’re really making it hard for me, aren’t you? First of all, I’m sure Jack wouldn’t appreciate eating at a different table than his boyfriend, and also we all get along pretty well between your gang and my friends. So, no, I don’t think we’ll change table for the rest of the year.”

Tang Yi had lost his breath. The audacity this boy had to barge into his life and refuse to go away when he asked him too. Fuck, Tang Yi really liked him.

“Fucking asshole,” he murmured.

“Hey, you’re the asshole in the situation,” replied Shao Fei, and suddenly he was right there in front of him, only a few inches away.

Tang Yi’s hands acted on his behalf, resting against Shao Fei’s cheeks, who turned bright red, a questioning look appearing in their owner’s eyes. 

“Maybe I am. But you’re the dumb one for sure. I’m a ticking bomb who will break your heart. You should run away from me as fast as you can.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“You said you weren’t in love with me yet.”

“Maybe I lied.”

5 hours. It had taken 5 hours from the moment he woke up that day to their kiss in the classroom for him to completely go back on the promise he had made to himself. 

Up until then, the girls he had strung along had given up exactly when he’d wanted them to. 

Shao Fei was like a lion holding on to his prey, he just wouldn’t let go. Tang Yi had just learned it was what he needed, someone destroying his barriers with a kick of the feet. 

Finally, he accepted defeat. Turns out, he was weak, he was vulnerable, he had feelings. Accepting that was hard in itself, but somehow, kissing Shao Fei made him believe he could do it.

“We’re not in a relationship, though,” he felt the need to say.

“Uh-uh,” agreed Shao Fei with an incredulous smile.


	7. The End

“Why didn’t you tell on me to the teachers?”

They had been laying in Tang Yi’s bed, naked, all evening. Tang Yi’s dad was on a ‘business trip’ a few towns over, which meant they had the house all to themselves. 

Shao Fei’s parents seemed to always be home so this had been a perfect opportunity. 

They had been doing that ‘not dating’ thing for about two weeks, and Tang Yi didn’t hate it. He was still freaked out most of the time because love was pretty weird and freaky. 

But he had started opening up, starting by telling Shao Fei that he did sell drugs. He even knew the truth about his father, his mom’s death and other fucked up things Tang Yi had known in his short life.

“I liked you.” At Tang Yi’s look of victory, he quickly switched his track, “Not in that way! I mean, sure, I found you attractive, but it wasn’t really a crush… So when I saw you with that girl I was freaked out. My first instinct was to denounce you because, you know.”

From where he was laid on Shao Fei’s chest, Tang Yi nodded. Shao Fei wanted to become a policeman after school, which was pretty hilarious since he just had sex with a gang leader. 

It’s not like he couldn’t do a higher paying job if he wanted, with his grades all the doors were opened but Shao Fei knew that was his calling. 

Tang Yi wished he knew what his calling was too, maybe it would make him find his life’s purpose like Shao Fei did.

“But you looked pretty scared, and I felt bad, so I didn’t say anything. And then I decided to blackmail you a little bit because I wanted to know more about you. I mean, being a drug dealer at 17… it’s pretty early to do that kinda stuff. I thought I’d denounce you before the end of the week, but obviously I ended up kissing you instead so I blew the plan off.”

“So… it was love at first fight, uh?”

“Dumbass.” Shao Fei hit him playfully on the back, holding his hand in his own. 

They both looked like smiling idiots, being cheesy as if they were in a drama. Tang Yi didn’t mind it at all.

“You know, it surprised me that you weren’t scared of me, after our first encounter. It’s like you didn’t take me seriously. It pissed me off.” He admitted.

“Oh, I know you like to be feared,” mocked Shao Fei. “But you cannot fear someone you love. I knew no matter how much I annoyed you, you wouldn’t hurt me.”

They stayed silent for a while, both realizing Shao Fei had finally said it. 

“So...” started Tang Yi, rising his head to look at Shao Fei in the eyes. “You do love me.”

The boy blushed. “You already knew it. Besides… I told you I couldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t love.”

He was immediately engulfed in the biggest hug Tang Yi had ever given (the first one to anyone besides his mother, too). 

They both knew Tang Yi couldn’t say it back yet, and they were okay with that. Somehow, both of them still knew.

 

 

Lunch breaks changed a little bit after that kiss in the classroom, both groups becoming somewhat friends, with two couples now uniting them. 

While Shao Fei and Tang Yi hadn’t said anything yet, it was pretty obvious. They were now acting like the best of friends, sharing cans of coke and spicy food. 

They all knew, yet no one said a word. True friends.

Jack, more than anyone, knew. On one of their Sundays drinking sessions, he had just asked it casually: 

“So, was it my amazing coming out that inspired you to rethink your sexuality?”

He had chocked on his beer pretty ungracefully, but admitted it was a funny joke. 

“Maybe.”

Maybe. That was all that had been said. Somehow it was enough.

“I, uh… told my parents. Zhao Zi told his grandma, too.”

Tang Yi had looked at him in a way he had never before, like his success at love and acceptance from family members was his, too. 

He needed someone, especially his best friend, to have a good story surrounding his sexuality, because Tang Yi wasn’t sure if he’d ever come out to his father.

“His grandma said she knew. Zhao Zi was pretty happy. As for my parents, they don’t really understand. They’re kinda lost. But they told me they loved me, so… it’s good, isn’t it?”

“That was really brave,” he simply answered.

“I know,” Jack laughed shakily. He looked pretty emotional, very happy. Tang Yi admired him deeply

 

 

“Dad, do you love me?”

They hadn’t eaten a meal together in years, but Tang Yi had specifically waited for his father to come home (very late, actually), so they could finally talk. 

They hadn’t done that since his 13th birthday, and he was almost 18, so it needed to happen.

“What kind of question is that?” His father didn’t even look up from his plate.

“I need to know you love me so that I can forgive you.”

“Forgive me? After all that I do for you? You must be kidding.” He looked pissed now, and that wasn’t the goal.

“Dad, sometimes intentions do not equal to consequences. What you’ve done, creating that gang life, it was all in the intention of bettering the life of your family, me included. But the consequence wasn’t that. Sure, we live in a pretty big house, I get great gifts when I want them and we never had to starve, but…” His voice cracked, a sign of weakness. His father must have been disappointed. “I never had a real childhood. I never had a real family dynamic. I never had love.”

His father had stopped eating, putting his chopsticks to the side, looking firmly at his glass of wine.

“So please, tell me you love me. So I can know it was all lost in translation and I did have love from the beginning.”

He was only greeted by silent. “Please,” he begged. “I’ve lost my mom, I can’t lose you too.”

It seemed to come up from the skies, that low, secret voice. “Of course I love you, son.”

 

 

Tang Yi had started the beginning of the year thinking his future was all laid out in front of him, with no emergency exit. 

He thought his life was pretty good, then. In an ironic tap on the shoulder from fate, nothing had happened the way he believed it would.

In one month of his life, Tang Yi cleared up almost 18 years of existence. 

Sure, it wasn’t perfect. His relationship with his dad was still complicated. He still had lost his mom. He didn’t really know what awaited him in the future. He still struggled with vulnerability and love.

He knew a few new things, though. He wouldn’t have to sell drug ever again after the end of high school. He would study the major of his choice (still to be defined) at university. He had friends.

And most of all, he was in love, which was a first. 

It was really scary, saying it out loud for the first time, but since then, Tang Yi thought he was almost saying it too much. His boyfriend was adamant that he was wrong though, and that encouraged it to say it more.

If life before Shao Fei had been pretty good, this one, with him, felt like heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! Writing this fic was pretty important for me because I had been suffering a huge writer's block for almost a year and a half! So for me to write 10.000+ words in English, which I had never done before, is pretty big.
> 
> I would like to thank all of you who read and left comments or kudos on here, every single one of them means the world to me. I'm so glad to be part of such a loving and supportive fandom :)


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